All the news that’s fit on a page. Now in the present day!
An unmitigated catastrophe is unfolding at Parliament tonight as election results have produced an enormous overhang for both sides of the political aisle, with the resulting additional seats overflowing the debating chamber and causing significant structural damage to the building.
Once more, we're back where we were three years ago, and three years before that, and possibly three years before that but we can't quite remember if we were covering it.
As polls close across the nation, National voters are likely to be more than a bit surprised by what they voted for today.
Television broadcasters, along with Stuff, which is sometimes a bit like television but at other times is just outsourced TV3, have urged the Electoral Commission to release election results in a more exciting order, saying the current approach gives undue priority to counting votes rather than maintaining suspense.
The bees have escaped the Beehive. Which will you put back in?
General coverage of the 2026 general election.
Nation reconsidering whether we should have Laws at all
Luxon somehow loses US midterm elections
Tensions flare as Labour seeks to win back Green votes by backing rival gang
Opinion: I don’t know how to be any more clear. No, really, I don’t. Please help
Green Party promises to nationalise the Kiwibank sheep
Opportunity deputy only expressed voting preference under ‘immense pressure’ from reporter for Kea Kids“The true race is unwinnable, and we are all at its mercy.”
Under fire today for the announcement that National, if re-elected, will put additional money into Pharmac by taking it out of existing foreign aid, somehow still Prime Minister Christopher Luxon has sought to tamp down fears, saying he can say “with confidence” most New Zealanders will “never have heard of these countries.”
Before you jump down my throat, nobody cares about the environment more than me.
I am every bit as angry as you are.
Yesterday morning, I waltzed into work, and as I walked past the drones aggressively typing out news on the computers I’ve repeatedly asked to be moved further away from, I caught a glimpse of the words “climate change”, and noticed that suspiciously they weren’t in condescending quotation marks.
I was recently speaking with my pet pig, Angelica, about the wonders of science, and all the marvellous things it allows us to do with its zip-zappys and wing-wangeries.
