The European country of Greece isn’t backing down today, despite growing pressure from the international community for the debt-ridden nation to make another sequel to the hit 1970s musical Grease.
In 2010, the International Monetary Fund (IMF) and Eurozone countries jointly agreed to a €110 billion bailout of Greece, on the condition that it would implement strict austerity measures, drastically reduce its debt and finally produce the widely anticipated Grease 3.
But Greece has so far shown no signs of making the film, and this week outright refused, saying that there was “no artistic rationale” for a third instalment in what it called an “antiquated” franchise.
“For more than two years now, we have submitted willingly to cruel, expansive market reforms,” said Greek Prime Minister Antonis Samaras. “We have sold our assets and prostituted our poor for your mercy. But that is where we draw the line. We will not make another Grease film.”
“Don’t any of you remember how bad Grease 2 was?”
The head of the IMF, Christine Lagarde, was angered by this speech, saying that she did remember Grease 2, and that was precisely why Greece had to produce another film; to make up for its “piss poor” second attempt.
The refusal has caused widespread anger in the western world, as well as in some parts of the East, where Turkish protestors have been angrily rallying against their own Prime Minister, who expressed agreement with Greece that a third film would amount to “reckless commercialism.”
Meanwhile, German Chancellor Angela Merkel has threatened Greece over the incident, saying that if it cannot fulfill its obligations to the Eurozone, then she will have no choice but to take “stern action” against the Greek Government.
Samaras has been unmoved by these threats, saying that the production of the musical would foment violent unrest from which his country could not recover.
“Our fragile state has barely kept up with the riots we’ve already had,” said Samaras. “If we made another Grease film, I cannot tell you what our people would do.”
He said that he had nothing against the idea of another sequel in principle, but that “more Grease” was “wishful thinking,” and would “never work out in reality.”
“I too would like to see Greek culture showcased once more to the world in the form of songs like You’re the One That I Want and Summer Nights,” he said. “But it won’t be like that. It will be terrible.”
Merkel has warned Greece that if they don’t get their act together soon, the Eurozone will happily take back their money and give it to Iceland, who are reportedly “quite willing” to make several more David Attenborough documentaries.