Opinion

41 stories · 2013–2026

Opinion: I don’t know how to be any more clear. No, really, I don’t. Please help

“I don’t know how to be any clearer with you, mate.”

17 October 2026

Opinion: If these kids really care about the climate, why are they still breathing?
1 October 2019
The moment I found out that you found out, I acted swiftly
12 September 2019
Opinion: Treat your car by buying it extra petrol to snack on while you aren’t driving
31 August 2019
Science & Technology
Opinion: Baldwin Street is steeper because we’re on the bottom of the globe and it’s harder not to fall off
24 July 2019
Opinion: All of this is why I chose not to have any other MPs
18 October 2018
Opinion: Honestly, I am fucking useless
17 October 2018

Opinion: Will Steven Adams at least play table tennis for New Zealand?

2 August 2018
Opinion: Recent experiences have led me to believe that text voting would be a wonderful thing for our democracy

18 May 2018
Opinion: I would never listen to any of my employees

24 June 2017
Opinion: Well, I like planes

3 May 2017
Opinion: I, too, am a human. Look at my failure. It is like your failure.

6 April 2017
Opinion: These bloody ambulances think they own the road. We’ve all got somewhere to be

30 March 2017
Opinion: I’m not lying, spinning or reciting disingenuous talking points. I sound like a robotic narcissist in private, too

9 March 2017
Opinion: What’s all the fuss about these rivers? I drank some water once and it wasn’t any bloody good

24 February 2017
Opinion: They’re saying I shouldn’t have citizenship but I’ve been here for at least several days

26 January 2017
Opinion: Everyone needs to calm down and give this KKK Grand Wizard I appointed to Secretary of State a chance

16 November 2016