- Relocate studios to Dargaville.
- Stop funding Duncan Garner’s Juicy Puff addiction.
- Cut back to just 5 Days.
- Rename The Edge radio station to less pricey Larry Mullen, Jr.
- Downgrade search for hottest home baker to search for hottest home baker’s kind-of-okay-looking-and-nice-enough older sibling.
- Replace expensive current affairs shows with hours of Rebecca Wright yelling at Winston Peters.
- Get someone to check if Kiwi FM still exists. If it does, put it on TradeMe.
- Indoors with Geoff.
- Discontinue TV3 in favour of TV3 Plus 1, extending the delay from one hour to one year.
- Replace everyone with Samantha Hayes. Unsure whether this will reduce debt but just do it.
- Invade TVNZ headquarters. Leave no one alive.
- Win Lotto.
- Maybe do something with magnets?
- Rent out Mike McRoberts to retirement homes; soothing voice will help residents forget their slow and inevitable decay.
- Proactively redistribute Drug Bust properties.
- Rebroadcast X Factor from the beginning; promote it like it’s a completely new show.
- Allow radio stations to play only Dave Dobbyn’s Welcome Home.
- Raid archives. Replace 3 News with 3 History.
- Increase corruption.
- Execute villain’s plan from Bond film Tomorrow Never Dies.
- License The Vote format to Electoral Commission.
- Stop paying everyone. Isn’t being on TV payment enough?
- Broadcast entire archive of clip art.
- Replace fancy recording and lighting equipment with home video camera and torch.
- Launch new scheme whereby businesses purchase airtime to promote their products and/or services.
- Stop appointing receivers. They’re expensive.