An Auckland drug kingpin has reported having difficulty making a cup of tea this afternoon, having discovered that “practically all” of his sugar was – to varying degrees – laced with cocaine.
38-year-old Michael Yang – who made it clear to media that he only happens to be Asian – dismissed a friend’s suggestion that he make coffee instead, saying that he’d had “a bad experience” with the substance, and that all that caffeine “can really mess you up.”
Yang also reported having a wacky misunderstanding at a local Briscoes store earlier this week during their advertised pot sale.
Drugs are substances that make people go funny.