A strange, masked couple with weapons are disturbed and being counselled by police this afternoon after they had a distressing encounter with a group of obnoxious film students making a shitty movie.
Police spokeswoman Noreen Hegarty said the pair approached police on Tuesday after running into the film students in Auckland Domain, Parnell.
“The man was visibly shaken and the woman very distressed,” said Hegarty. “It’s just a bit scary to think there might be these stupid little twats running around out there, filming some horrible movie that only they could think was of any creative value.”
Hegarty said the man reported to police that the acting of the film students would be “funny” if it weren’t “so bad,” that the plot was “utterly incomprehensible,” and that he heard what sounded like 8-bit James Bond music and “horrifying dialogue.”
Asked if the dialogue was the kind of thing you’d hear in a Christopher Nolan film, she replied “Worse.”
The students apparently filmed the pair and put that footage on the internet, and the couple are now “deeply afraid” that they may appear in the movie.
Police are appealing for anyone with information on the film students to come forward, “so we can get them off the streets and out of our domains.”
Ms. Hegarty said Aucklanders should specifically be on the look out for “a group of young, untalented, white males laughing to themselves about an idea for a film that they think is funny but no one else would.”
A spokeswoman for Auckland film school SAE Institute was asked if she was aware of anyone who fit that description.
“That could honestly be any of our students,” she said.