With the deadline for candidate nominations fast approaching, the Electoral Commission has today sought to clarify whether candidates who shit their pants during the course of the campaign will be allowed to see it through to the end.
Earlier this month, at a HYROX athletic competition in Beijing, one competitor, Australian Joanna Wietrzyk, suffered an extreme bout of incontinence, defecating on herself and subsequently spreading it to equipment that other competitors would have to use.
Wietrzyk went on to complete, and win, the race, sparking immense controversy.
Viewers and competing athletes alike argued it was unfair she was allowed to continue, as it likely dramatically affected others’ ability to compete, and raised serious questions about hygiene and safety.
HYROX quickly apologised, admitting they’d made a mistake in allowing Wietrzyk to continue, and subsequently changed their rules.
Back home, this has put immense pressure on the Electoral Commission, who have faced mounting questions about whether it would follow suit.
All this has amounted to a clamour the Commission has finally addressed today.
“We understand that, due to recent developments around the world, there have been questions – from the public and candidates alike – as to whether we would allow those running for Parliament to complete the campaign if in the event they shit all over themselves in a public setting,” said a spokesperson. “We have concluded that it would be unfair on competing candidates to allow an opponent to keep running if they do so.
“Such violent incontinence could be unduly distracting to opponents, and understandably raise sanitary concerns.”
The move has been met with mixed reaction, with some worrying that the rule could be unduly advantageous to parties with younger candidates.
Both the Greens and ACT have welcomed the decision, while New Zealand First has denounced it, and is seeking legal advice. Labour and National have sought clarification from the Commission as to whether the rule includes metaphorical pants-shitting.
While only being addressed now, pants-shitting incidents in New Zealand politics have a long and controversial history.
In the 1996 election, in the Wellington Central electorate, National’s Mark Thomas shat himself in front of an audience of about 900. He soldiered through it, but by the time he had finished, the audience had diminished to just 24 people. Despite this, he still went on to lose to ACT’s Richard Prebble.
And most famously, Prime Minister Robert Muldoon, who in a 1978 debate deliberately and aggressively shit his pants to throw off Labour’s Bill Rowling. It worked, and Rowling stumbled his way through the rest of the debate. Muldoon, to much controversy, went on to win that election.