Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott is in hospital this afternoon after attempting to put out the ongoing New South Wales fires with nothing but his own chest.
Abbott, who earlier today was visiting Winmalee – the scene of one of many unfolding fire-related disasters across the state – told media that he was “fearful for all the ladies out there,” and would do whatever he could “to keep them protected.”
“Men can cope with fire,” he explained, wiping sweat from his brow. “It’s hot, but we’re used to hot. Uh, heat.
“But for all the sexy ladies across New South Wales? This is tough, tough indeed.”
The Prime Minister and Minister for Women was shown several private properties that were in immediate danger of being incinerated by fire, and at one point, became so emotional that he took matters into his own hands.
“Why are we just standing here?” he asked, visibly frustrated. “We have to protect all the women!”
Abbott then tore off his shirt and ran towards the blaze, before tripping over a log, landing face first on the ground, and catching fire.
The Minister for Women had to be rescued by eight firefighters, who moved swiftly to put him out and airlift him to hospital.
As he was being loaded into the helicopter, Abbott chastised a senior fireman for allowing female firefighters near the blaze, saying it was “not safe for them here.”
Speaking from a hospital bed following the incident, Abbott blamed his inability to put out the fire on “science.”