Former Labour Party leader David Cunliffe has announced his retirement from politics, in what many are saying is a thinly veiled attempt to remind New Zealanders that he is, in fact, still in Parliament.
Cunliffe made the announcement today in a press conference held on the steps of Parliament – which he specifically asked media to note is a thing that he is in – flanked by two giant portraits of himself.
Before he began speaking, Cunliffe handed out a series of pamphlets to waiting journalists, featuring details of his accomplishments, and a list of Members of Parliament, in which he had circled and highlighted his name.
“Alright, now that’s out of the way,” he began. “Today, I, David Cunliffe, MP, which stands for Member of Parliament, specifically Member of the House of Representatives of New Zealand, am announcing that I will retire from politics, and therefore Parliament, which I am in presently and have been for quite a while, actually, at the 2017 election, which will elect members of Parliament, which I am in.”
Cunliffe was asked by one reporter to clarify his statement more succinctly.
“I am in Parliament,” he replied.
The former leader and current MP spent the next hour telling tales of his political career, some of which – such as the segment about his time as Prime Minister – appeared embellished.
Today’s announcement comes after a Newstalk ZB online poll on public recognition of politicians found that only 18% of respondents knew that David Cunliffe was an MP, while 22% thought he was a forgotten member of Crowded House, and more than 40% believed him to be dead.
Asked about Cunliffe’s resignation, Labour leader Andrew Little said he had heard “nothing of it,” expressing genuine surprise at the question.
When asked whether he had any thoughts on who should be nominated for his electorate seat in New Lynn, Cunliffe said there would be no nominations, because his seat was “missing.”