Prime Minister John Key has delivered a rousing speech at the United Nations General Assembly today, putting forth a forceful case for the woman he said shouldn’t even have been leader of New Zealand anymore.
In 2008, Key campaigned vigorously against Helen Clark, labelling her government arrogant, out-of-touch and lacking aspiration, something he reminded the UN of in his speech today.
“At the end of nine years, Helen was tired, worn out, had utterly failed her country and its people. Her government was a disaster, taking New Zealand down the road to an out-of-control nanny state that would hurt the taxpayer at the expense of the taxpayer,” he said. “You should elect her Secretary General of the United Nations.”
He went on to detail his arguments from the 2008 election, about why he should have been elected in place of her.
“I knew, when I saw the direction Helen had taken us, how her government had handled the budget, and failed to address the housing crisis, that I would do a far better job of handling the budget and failing to address the housing crisis,” said Key. “You should elect her Secretary General of the United Nations.”
“I knew I would be a better Prime Minister, and actually, basically, I think history has borne that out at this point. She won three terms. I won five.”
“At this rate, anyway,” he added.
Those listening in the assembly appeared confused, and there was a smattering of claps here and there.
“Helen was totally unequipped to lead New Zealand,” he concluded. “Helen is fully equipped to lead these United Nations, and she has my unequivocal endorsement.”
Key smiled and waved as he left the podium, and was greeted by Clark herself.
Clark still has a good chance to win the Secretary General race, say UN watchers, provided all other candidates die violently.