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Academy appeases everyone by awarding Oscar to Black Leonardo DiCaprio

Tonight’s result is a devastating blow to White Leonardo DiCaprio, who is still yet to win an Academy Award.
Tonight’s result is a devastating blow to White Leonardo DiCaprio, who is still yet to win an Academy Award.

In an attempt to sidestep a recent controversy over the lack of racial diversity at the Oscars – as well as appease a growing community of angry Leonardo DiCaprio fans incensed that the critically acclaimed and prolific movie star has yet to win an Oscar – the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has awarded its Oscar for Best Actor to Black Leonardo DiCaprio, the African-American version of Leonardo DiCaprio.

Black DiCaprio won the Academy Award for his stellar performance in the critically acclaimed survival blockbuster The Black Revenant, the African-American version of The Revenant, which itself contained no black people.

No other African American actors were honoured with an award this evening, but the Academy has repeatedly insisted throughout the nomination season that there is “no racism at play,” and it’s simply that “black people are quite bad at making movies, and perhaps things generally.”

They have also pointed to the fact that they selected Black Chris Rock, the African-American version of Chris Rock, to host this year’s ceremony.

In receiving his award, Black DiCaprio was praised for his performance, in which he is convincingly mauled by a bear, before crawling and grunting for the duration of the film, also convincingly.

But despite tonight’s surprise turn of events, many of those protesting the Oscars over racial inequality are still angry, saying that Black Leonardo DiCaprio is just Leonardo DiCaprio in blackface, making the situation “a lot worse.”

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